Tuesday, January 12, 2010

More tales from the Porn Store

Well, one morning I was opening, and I stopped to get some breakfast on the way in. The ever-cheerful and oh-so-helpful Burger King staff gave me an unsweet tea instead of the sugary goodness I ordered, but I didn't discover this until I had already opened the shop and couldn't leave. There weren't any sugar/splenda/sweet-n-low packs around the store like there would be any other morning, so I was at a loss.

Until my tired eyes happened upon the little sample packets of flavored lube. My thought process:

1. It's flavored, and I like flavored teas.
2. It's edible, and it tastes pretty good.
3. It's pretty sweet, in fact, sweet enough to take on my tea. It's nutrasweet, even better! More bang for my buck!
4. I'm this desperate!

So, I bought a sample packet of blueberry, my sleep deprived brain going, "mmm, blueberries!" I cut it open, dumped it in my tea, and stirred it up. It turned grey. My tea was grey. The top had a pretty rainbow sheen of floating glycerin, like the creature from "The Raft," which gave me pause, but I went ahead and stuck my straw in, and tasted.

Oh God, what had I done.

It was an abomination. A greasy, bitter, grey abomination. I'm suprised a representative from Lipton didn't pull into the parking lot, come into the store, and slap me. But, it was all I had to drink for the entire 8 hour shift. So, I decided that I had made my bed, and I'd sleep in it, dammit, even though it was absolutely miserable.

Moral of the story: Flavored lube tastes good by itself, or on another person. Don't use it to sweeten a beverage. Ever.

4 comments:

Ray Flanary said...

LMAO... Only you would think of this! You get a A for originality! I'll never think of tea the same way again. LOL...

nonspecific said...

*rofling*

Also, LJ feed created, check.
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/advdangergirl/

At least I think I did it right... nothing is showing up yet.

Ray Flanary said...

*an A, not a A... sorry

Geez! The English teacher in me is screaming, IDIOT, don't you know how to use the correct indefinite article?

Voodoo-Eyed Treat Demon said...

I'm glad you guys are enjoying it!